So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
i think im in europe. pls send help
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
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