we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
Theres a note on my antibiotics that says "Do not chew or crush. Swallow whole." I think that would be a good tattoo for just above my penis.
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
Randomize
