talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
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