Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
Randomize
