Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
Randomize