Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
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