she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
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