I wish i was in the wii world.
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
Randomize
