Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Randomize
