using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
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