I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
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