is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
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