I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
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