My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
Gay?
German.
Pity.
Randomize
