I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
Randomize
