I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
I'm at about main and main street
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
