On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
I want to stick my p in your. b.
$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
Randomize