Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
