I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
