I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
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