We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
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