I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
Randomize
