Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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