even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
