if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
false alarm. still invincible.
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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