Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
i out mim tonsoeep
Randomize
