TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
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