One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
Randomize
