We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
Randomize
