Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
Randomize
