she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
The upside of Thirsty Thursdaying with the client last night was that he was so hungover that he didn't want to spend time wrangling over the contract extension this morning.
Boss just said I'm getting a bonus for this. Want to celebrate our anniversary a week early tonight?
This is why I married you.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
