Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
we made out on top of his cat.
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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