I never want to see another naked old woman again.
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
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