Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
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