Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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