Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Randomize
