so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Randomize
