What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
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