She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
