I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
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