After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
Randomize
