You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Randomize
