Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
Randomize
