Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
