their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
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