I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
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