if any two of us come back from the bar and aren't getting laid we will systematically destroy everything in the kitchen
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
Randomize
