Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
Randomize
