Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
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