The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Randomize
