1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
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