i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
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