Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
I'm drive I can fine osifer
I should be sponsored by Trojan
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
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