What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
Randomize
