I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Randomize
