I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
you would pick up someone in the library
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
Randomize
