Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
Randomize
