stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
Randomize
