so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
Randomize
