At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
Is it because I queefed?
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
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