Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
I just made a cocktail. Had one shot of vodka left. It looked lonely so I decided to reunite it with its vodka friends in my bloodstream.
Starting the day at 1:44 in the afternoon. With a hot pocket and a mixer. Who knew my life had this kind of possibility.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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