Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
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