you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
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