i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
