I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
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