We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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