I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
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