I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Randomize
