your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Randomize
