Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
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