She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
I'm gonna fight the coyote
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
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