Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
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