Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Randomize
